Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager, the hosts of TODAY with Hoda and Jenna, are our “Modern Manners for Your Social Dilemmas” etiquette columnists. These two have actually been dishing out honest, wholehearted recommendations on air for years (enjoy them reside on weekdays at 10 a.m. ET.). Then have a look at their suggestions on a variety of social predicaments– including how to handle relationship falling outs– below.

Desire their suggestions on a sticky social situation? Email them at [email protected], and they may provide some sage guidance for you in an approaching issue of REAL SIMPLE.

When to Ask Neighbors for Help
Our house is brand-new and does not have any trees, however due to the instructions of the wind, our lot ends up being the resting place for the bulk of our neighbors’ leaves. Should we keep quiet and simply deal with disposing dozens of lawn bags or investing hundreds of dollars to employ somebody, or can we ask our next-door neighbors to help?

HODA KOTB: Well, it’s not the next-door neighbors’ fault that the wind blows towards you. I think you might simply need to suck it up and handle the leaf removal.

JENNA BUSH HAGER: Yeah, part of remaining in a community is doing things for others. Think of it: When they do something for you, that counts as returning the favor.

HK: In an ideal world, next-door neighbors help each other. One day it’ll snow and someone may help you shovel. I would deal with the leaf elimination on your own. Pay someone to do it if you can. If you don’t have a couple hundred bucks, I understand; you might have to do it yourself. And who knows? Maybe a next-door neighbor will see you out there and participate.
How To Deal With Friendship Falling Outs

SHELLY ASKS: My other half and I were ghosted by a person we’ve socialized with for several years. She was never ever specifically nice to me, and she has attempted (often successfully!) to turn other people in our group versus us. We are grown adults in our 50s. We’ve reached out to her several times to ask what we can do to fix our relationship, but she’s constantly too hectic. We have a little neighborhood event coming up, and I know it will be extremely hard. How should I behave that night, without wearing my heart on my sleeve?

JBH: I think neglecting her is the best possible response due to the fact that it looks like she’s attempting to get a rise out of you.

HK: If you’ve reached out multiple times and it hasn’t worked, then you simply have to be complete of pleasantries moving forward. Her turning other individuals versus you is not cool.

JBH: It’s really not! Possibly state, “Hey, I heard you said this, and I simply desire you to understand I do not value it. I’m not here for a fight, and we don’t need to be best friends, but all of us need to play in the sandbox together.” And let’s value the good friends who outed her for attempting to turn them against you!
Often relationships have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

— Jenna Bush Hager
How to Ask for a Baby Shower
MOM-TO-BE ASKS: After several years of challenging IVF, I am so excited to finally be pregnant! While I’m over the moon about our first infant, I am a little disappointed that neither a close friend nor my sibling has actually volunteered to toss me a baby shower– specifically given that I excitedly hosted showers for them. Are showers mutual? Do I have a right to be upset?
JBH: I get why you’re troubled by this. It’s most likely not a slight, and I believe you could state, “I would like it if y’ all threw me a little something.”
HK: I’m really questioning if they’re planning on surprising you!
JBH: Yeah, possibly they have something prepared! It’s okay to ask. My sibling, Barbara, asked me if we might do something to celebrate her child, and it didn’t bother me. If these are your closest individuals, you need to feel comfortable informing them what you want.
HK: That’s right. Simply say, “This is such a moment for me, and I ‘d love it if my friends got together.” They might state they’ve currently got something planned, or they might say sorry and explain how hectic they’ve been. Either way, I’m guessing they’ll want to celebrate with you.
How to Call Out a Friend for Bad Habits
PAMELA ASKS: A dear friend of mine is an oral hygienist. After a meal, she feels the need to instantly floss. She does this at the dinner table in a restaurant, or as soon as we get in the car.
HK: Flossing your teeth while sitting at the table is not cool.
JBH: No, it’s not.
HK: I believe you can say that everybody has their bugaboo, and yours is teeth. Say it’s your problem, to kinda put it more on you and less on her.
JBH: I think saying the word “bugaboo” in any sentence makes things light. Tone is whatever when you’re dealing with something personal like this. Keep in mind, this is a dear pal! And she’s alienating people around her when there’s a completely excellent bathroom nearby!